last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
