Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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