You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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