He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
