Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
