they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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