The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Your penis caused this!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
