Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
