Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
