when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
