I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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