How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
