i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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