Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
