It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
