am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
