The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
