she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
