Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
