I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
