I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
