Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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