she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
