His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
