So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
