we have pet lesbian snakes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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