standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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