I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
