Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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