Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i believe in u and ur pee
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