Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
