Have you finally orgasmed yet?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
