I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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