forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
