I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
