Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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