I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
