I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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