I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
