Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So squirting runs in the family.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
