I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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