Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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