opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He shit in the fireplace
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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