PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
