Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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