ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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