You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
