Banned from zoo.
Again?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
