After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
