So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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