my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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