So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
